BY HARRY RING
How about leashing the cops? - In New York, dogs are allowed
to run unleashed in parks at certain times, in certain areas.
Now mounted cops are policing parks, issuing $100-per-dog
tickets to owners who unleash their pets in the wrong place at
the wrong time.
The `justicé system - Gen. David Hale was permitted to take an honorable discharge - and his pension - despite charges of sexual "improprieties." A court martial then found him guilty of having affairs with the wives of four subordinates. He was given a $10,000 fine, to be deducted in installments from his monthly pension, plus a reprimand. Enlisted men and women often face jail time for such charges.
A plug - "Our bourgeois, not content with having the wives and daughters of their proletarians at their disposal...take the greatest pleasure in seducing each others wives." - Communist Manifesto.
The weaning process - Three people died in the intensive care unit of a Siberian hospital when power was cut off for a debt to the local utility. The Los Angeles Times explains: "To comply with Western conditions for multibillion-dollar loans, Russia is trying to wean consumers from subsidized power.... However, it is difficult to put the energy system on a capitalist footing when institutions and individuals have little or no money to pay for utilities...."
A Beanie Baby under every pillow? - Ty Warner, head of Ty Inc., and creator of the Beanie Baby, is apparently still doing nicely, as hopeful speculators invest wallets-full in "retired" models of the bean bag. Branching out, Warner just spent $275 million for New York's ultraposh Four Seasons Hotel. Average nightly rate, $600 plus.
Social commentary - You go to your med center for a procedure that takes the starch out of you. On departure, you get a list of do's and don'ts for the next 24 hours - get rest, don't drive, etc. Final prudent point: "Do not sign important documents."
House-hunting? - You can have Princess Margaret and "several other royals" as neighbors, not to mention the Sultan of Brunei. Just plunk down L 35 million for London's Kensington Palace Gardens. You can mention to folks it's the most expensive house on the market. A five-story building, it includes 10 bedrooms and bathrooms. Garage space for at least six cars. An "impeccable" neighborhood. Privacy ensured by a 30' wall.
P.S. - In dollars, how much is L 35 million? "If you have to ask...."
Shop till you drop - "Shopping may bring Christians closer to God than going to church, according to the official church liturgy for the millennium" - London news item.