Stop by Sunday, when we pass the plate--A survey of Protestant Church phone service found that 40 percent did not respond to personal inquiries even after several calls were made. Among the unresponsive churches some 44 percent didn't even have answering machines.

Sorry, right number--In the United Kingdom, a consumer association did a check on the National Health Services crisis phone program. One test researcher called with a potentially heart threatening situation 10 times and got the right answer once. Six calls were dealt with by phone operators with no medical training.

A test, dummy, a test!--The airport at plush Martha's Vineyard, was evacuated when cops found a piece of luggage containing a dummy bomb intended for security training.

Better take a cab--In a test run on one area of London, the number of traffic tickets soared from 10 to 200 a day. The cops get to pocket the loot.

Or, maybe just walk--Kenneth Livingstone, the recently elected "left independent" mayor of London, plans to impose a fee of about $7 on car drivers entering Central London, and truck drivers about $21.