BY HARRY RING
Bet they get it too - The Exxon Valdez, since renamed the SeaRiver Mediterranean, was barred from sailing to Alaska after the huge 1989 oil spill. It's now in overseas shipping and would like a federal subsidy to compensate for alleged losses.

Big-hearted Uncle - Congress is considering making several tiny Pacific islands part of the state of Hawaii. One is the Johnston Atoll, site of the world's biggest chemical weapons incinerator. Visitors are handed a gas mask, a nerve gas antidote, and a syringe to inject the antidote in case of a leak.

An exception to every rule - Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan recently hailed the continuing world deflationary process.

Meanwhile, in Mexico, the price of tortillas jumped 26.6 percent and the government predicted that by year's end inflation would hit 42 percent. Independent forecasters said it would be 60 percent or more.

Swept up the extra parts? - Tampa's University Community Hospital hit the headlines by amputating the wrong foot of one patient and killing another by mistakenly removing him from a ventilator. April 13, the feds stripped the hospital of accreditation. A week later they said deficiencies had been cleared up and the hospital could continue receiving millions in health-care money.

And who can trust Congress? - A headline: "Congress wonders if it can trust CIA." It was a Congressional Quarterly report on the confirmation of the murders by a CIA hireling in the Guatemalan army. The report also noted: "At the same time the Guatemalan flap [!] has placed a spotlight on Congressional support for the Guatemalan military-"

Fired up - One of the owners of Campanilés, a plush L.A. restaurant, was so outraged at paying $2.50 a head for lettuce that she banned it from staff meals.

Samples at your cardiologist's office - A one-pound hunk of chocolate shaped like a human heart. Made with, "fresh butter, pure vanilla and gobs of whipping cream." In the gift catalog of the American Medical Association.

The enforcers - OSHA may do little about health and safety on the job. But a Chicago girl, six, learned they do have some rules. When a dentist removed two of her teeth, she wanted them to put under her pillow for the tooth fairy. Nope. OSHA requires they be put in a container for immediate disposal.

No respect - Prince and Princess Michael of Kent said no when the check-in at a D.C. airport wanted some $350 for nine extra pieces of luggage on a flight to New York.

Their highnesses argued that with only seven people on a 20-seat plane they should not, and would not, pay extra. A British embassy rep put it on her credit card.

Thought for the week - "If you can't trust the government, who can you trust?" - Robert Friel, a Secret Service official defending a plan to give the feds the key to coded computer technology for banks.  
 
 
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