BY HARRY RING
No cemetery stock? - It was disclosed that executives at Brown & Williamson, the tobacco folks, urged that the firm buy itself a company that manufactured nicotine patches, which assertedly help people kick the addiction.
Adding insult to mortal injury - Arrested in 1987 on suspicion of theft, Michael Taylor, 16, died in an Indianapolis police car. The cops claimed that with his hands cuffed behind his back, the youth took a gun from his high-top shoe and shot himself in the head. The coroner ruled it a suicide and the cops are still on the force. But, in a damage suit, a jury has ordered the city to pay the victim's mother $4.3 million.
Don't they need her permission? - "Santa Barbara, a fourth century martyr traditionally prayed to in the West by those in danger of sudden death, has been made the patron saint of Russia's intercontinental nuclear missile force." - The Guardian of London.
Ivory-tower type - Peter Diamandopoulos, president of New York's Adelphi University, gets a half million a year. Also, he's under investigation because the school spent $1.5 million on an apartment and sold it to him for $900,000. Plus the university's financing of his art collection and his $85,000 Mercedes. Students tried to query him about reports on this, but he brushed such questions aside, explaining he found the reports "boring."
Why we used to love school - When Adelphi students asked if he wanted to hear about their needs, the prez retorted "No, I have very strong views about what you need. I don't need to know what you think you need."
Facts-of-life dep't - "They are executives. Executives get perks." - A corporate exec explaining why the top dogs get fat medical coverage while forcing employees into "managed care" plans that cut the quality and quantity of care.
What a nice guy - " Restructuring to get to a strong future does unfortunately require staff reductions....I'm deeply saddened by the pain and loss this is causing some of our people and their families. But in the end concern isn't enough." - Robert Allen, AT&T chief who ordered 40,000 employees axed and who "earned" $16 million last year.
With knights at the toll booths? - "All but extinct in this country for nearly a century, privately built toll roads suddenly have begun to reappear." - Philadelphia Inquirer.
Victoria's (dirty little) Secret - Ruth Cobb and Nathaniel Masterson are suing Victoria's Secret and a Baltimore-area mall for $100 million each. They left the store after buying some hosiery, but were taken back by two uniformed, off-duty cops moonlighting as security guards. They were strip searched and Cobb was also subjected to a cavity search. Victoria's Secret said its policy is "to treat all of its customers with dignity and respect."