BY HARRY RING

A fighting program - The British Labour Party is urging a national debate on what time children should be made to go to bed in order to keep them off the street at night. The Times of London reports, "The party has said that the roots of criminal behavior are planted in childhood by lax parenting."

Oops - In Vancouver, Canada, a man facing trial realized he was being billed for a police tap on his phone. The phone company had inadvertently billed him for an incoming-call display it provided the cops. His lawyer thought it "a little cheeky to expect the person being tapped to pay for it." The cops conceded the disclosure could hurt their case.

A woman's place - An Italian court ruled that blasphemy against the Virgin Mary is not a criminal offense. According to the cops, a man who had his car confiscated had let out "a torrent of curses against God, the Madonna and all the saints." His lawyer pointed to an obscure point in the law distinguishing between blasphemy against "the Divinity" and abuse of "venerated persons," such as Mary.

Now here's a stumper - "African Americans die younger and have poorer health than others in this country. Researchers are struggling to figure out why," reports the Bulletin of the American Ass'n of Retired People. But one expert is not clueless. He suggests "the most likely answer" may be poverty and discrimination.

Yep, for some the times are a-changin' - A Bank of Montreal commercial uses a feel-good version of Bob Dylan's 1960s protest song, "The Times, They Are A- Changin." The bank declined to say what it paid Dylan for use of the song. Dylan's PR person said the composer- singer never considered it a big protest anthem. "For Bob," he said, "it was just a song he wrote."

Role models? - Steelcase, an office furniture company, has a lobby display of a colony of ants at work. A manager explains it's intended as a metaphor on how people live and work. His philosophical point is a bit murky, but it seems to be that you work, then you die.

If you work across the river -Check out the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog for the 12-foot "bionic" submarine. A one-seater, it will skim the water at 85 mph and, at a depth of 150 feet, cruise at 35 mph. $139,000.

They got it half right - Worth, a magazine for moneybags, surveyed a group of billionaires and says it found that a number of them give "generously" to charities. Observed Worth: "America is at once the most acquisitive and the most philanthropic of cultures."

`Brighten the Corner' - We hope the folks in Sheffield, England, got through November OK. At the Sheffield Cathedral, churchgoers were urged to fill out "designing my funeral" forms indicated preferred prayers, music, etc. A church newsletter said that November -when "the darkness grows" and "dead leaves rattle and sigh" - is a time to "ready ourselves for death."  
 
 
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