BY HARRY RING
Suspicious or suspiciously? - Immigration cops raided a top secret weapons and nuclear research plant at Kirkland Air Force Base in New Mexico. They grabbed 16 allegedly undocumented immigrants hired by a contractor to repair a roof at the nuke site.

Staffers called la migra, saying some of the workers looked suspicious.

Modern adventure story -Jobless for three years, Lawrence Tervit left Britain for Continental Europe for an unsuccessful four-month job hunt, walking most of the way. Broke and trying to get home, he put together a makeshift raft to cross the English Channel. He got hit by one boat, survived, and was picked up by another, which returned him to France.

Smelling a story, a British daily paid his fare home.

No joke - The sailors who rescued him thought he was crazy But Lawrence Tervit felt he had no options. "I had no money," he said, "and the ferry company wouldn't let me make a reverse-call home. What else could I do? Desperate times call for desperate measures."

The low-stress society - In the first half of the year, the five best-selling U.S. prescription medications included two antidepressants and two antiulcer drugs.

..meanwhile - 7-Eleven convenience stores are offering a quarter pound burger shaped like a frankfurter because they're easier to handle while driving. With a steady increase in dashboard dining, parts suppliers are developing microwaves, coolers, and trash compactors for cars.

A deal - The palm-size Motorola StarTAC 8600 cell phone boasts a lot of features, including an answering machine. (Why you need that on a phone you carry with you, we're not sure.) And it's now available for under $1,000.

But, please note, that's the tacky charcoal gray. If you're cool and require black, order directly from Motorola, $1,795.

For the rich and clumsy - We forgot. For one-touch dialing, the StarTAC will store 99 of your most frequently called numbers.

Order the black and a Motorola rep will come to your house and program it.

Puff, no problem - Imported into Mexico, a rising number of Cuba's famed cigars are finding their way into the United States, where they fetch up to $100 apiece. "It's the forbidden fruit factor," groused a Customs official, "the fact that it's illegal."

What to do? Simple. End the embargo on trade with Cuba.  
 
 
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