BY HARRY RING
The glum side - At a recent Washington gathering of big-time financial folks, hosted by the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund, a chap from the London office of Standard & Poor's told a reporter, "There's a real sense of pain.I don't recall a meeting as gloomy as this one."

Give that guy a martini - At that session, a fellow from Merrill Lynch added, "I woke up this morning an optimistic man. By the end of a day of meetings I wanted to jump out the window."

That's the spirit! - A British banker at that gathering chirped, "People are saying the current world crisis is worse than World War II or 1929. But you've got a lot of people looking at the problem. Surely, something will be done." He didn't offer any odds.

Just the `emerging' nations? -"The latest figures show unemployment in Japan rose to a record 2.97 million.. According to Tokyo municipal authorities, the city had 4,300 homeless in September.. But relief organizations like the Salvation Army estimate the true number is closer to 15,000." -News item.

Next, a mug shot of Dunlap? -Sunbeam appliances said their claimed profit for last year was actually a loss. The company, which is $2 billion in debt, had hired Al "Chainsaw" Dunlap, king of the downsizers, to pull them out of the hole. They now say he juggled the books. Meanwhile, the Post Office issued a stamp featuring a Sunbeam Mixmaster - part of its "Celebrate the Century" program.

How about New York pothole debris? - A Texas company ad says it's in the market to buy moon rocks and dust.

Almost as trustworthy as Washington - A secret 1962 British Ministry of Defense document, recently released, proposed that in the event of a devastating nuclear attack on the United States, officers at U.S. atomic bases in Britain should be killed and their nuclear weapons seized.

Won't mar manly military image? - The Pentagon sighed it will spend about $50 million this coming year dispensing the impotence drug, Viagra. Reportedly, $50 million can buy 45 Tomahawk cruise missiles.

But not to worry - The ozone hole over Antarctica is larger than ever and formed earlier this year, New Zealand officials reported. Preliminary data show the hole covers some 11 million square miles, 5 percent bigger than the previous record, set in 1996.

Obviously carefully checked -A Mattel subsidiary recalled 10 million Power Wheels children's cars. The battery-powered vehicles go as fast as 5 mph and cost up to $300. The recall came after 150 complaints of fires, some of which started while the toy cars were parked. Defective electrical components were also failing or overheating, causing smoke or melted parts.  
 
 
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