BY HARRY RING
How about handcuffs? -Hugs, kisses, a pat on the back, or a "high five." These and other public displays of affection are banned at Nicholas Junior High in Fullerton, California. Responding to student protest, a school official declared: "We prefer that kids keep their hands to themselves."

Didn't go upside his head? -A Hillsborough, New Jersey, cop is suing his "union," the Policemen's Benevolent Ass'n (PBA), for libel. The PBA prez, in a letter to colleagues in neighboring Montgomery, had branded him a "bad apple" who had violated the police "honor code." Also, his associates shunned and humiliated him. Why? After a traffic accident, he had given a ticket to the mother of a cop in Montgomery.

The sane society - British officials are considering a posthumous pardon for Helen Duncan, a spiritualist who was convicted of witchcraft during World War II. She was busted under the 1735 Witchcraft Act while doing a seance. Police said she divulged information about the sinking of a ship which she said she obtained during the seance. She was prosecuted as a security risk by officials who feared that she would "see" and disclose the top-secret site for the Allied D- Day landing on the French coast.

The `superior' sex? - Detroit medical researchers report evidence that in the aging process, the male brain shrinks faster than those of females. The doctor who headed up the project confided, "My wife says it's no surprise to her."

Must make them proud - The Los Angeles County board of supervisors voted unanimously to charge county jail inmates $3 for each visit to the medical ward. Supervisor Gloria Molina said this will cut down on "frivolous" waste of tax money. We assume nonfrivolous waste is still OK.

Breathe lightly - "Air pollution may contribute to the death of up to 24,000 frail and elderly people each year," states the first British government study of the effects on health of fumes from vehicles and industry. - London Times.

Slippery as soap - After a test run, Proctor & Gamble has made its fat-free oil, Olestra, available for use in Frito- Lay's high-salt snacks. A federally required label will caution that Olestra "may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools" and slow the absorption of some vitamins. But no notice that Frito-Lay will charge an extra 25 percent for products that include the oil.

Must think they're in New York - Stemming from a corruption inquiry, 11 cops have been suspended or transferred from the police unit that pioneered Zero Tolerance enforcement in England. Assertedly, hundreds of criminal convictions will be reviewed.

Ask Bill Gates - "It seems that all the information in the world, all that is known, has been known or might be needed to be known is available on the Internet. The human understanding of God is that he is all-knowing, all powerful. So is the Internet God?" - Cannon Geoff Smith, Church of England.  
 
 
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