Perish the thought--Washington, D.C., officials called a screeching halt to renovation of a 19th Ccentury firehouse to be used for a shelter for homeless women. The stop order came when they realized the building would soon be surrounded by a slated luxury apartment complex.

In India, do they love the bastards?--From a veteran reader comes word of a web-site item. Economy-minded officials in the United Kingdom used prison inmates to input into a computer the info from the 1901 census. Then they found that all references to prison wardens had been changed to "bastards." The correction project has been outsourced to a company that pays low wages to workers in India.

Crackdown--The Consumer Product Safety Commission slapped an $850,000 fine on Federated Department Stores for having "knowingly" sold flammable children's pajamas and robes. The agency said it was the stiffest penalty it has ever imposed. Federated operates 440 department stores, including Macy's and Bloom-ingdale's. Maybe the company will have to run fire sales to raise the levy of $2,000 for each store.

How about some for civilians?--Cops in Concord, California, have raised $7,000 to outfit their nine-member K-9 unit with bulletproof vests. They say an average of two police dogs are killed each year.

You want the mayor to fly coach?--In Atlanta, Mayor William Campbell charged "political harassment" when a judge subpoenaed him to testify about why a construction company executive hired private jets to take him to boxing matches in New York and Las Vegas.

Militant sub anyone?--"Healthy" and "robust" were the adjectives of choice of the Los Angeles Times in its April 26 report on the record profits piled up by the drug barons. The next day, the paper reported that the Gray Panthers are suing Bristol-Myers Squibb Co. for blocking less expensive generic versions of anti-anxiety drugs. The article describes the generics as "cheap knockoffs."

Where have we seen that before?--"Gap between rich and poor widens."--Headline, the Times, London.

See, no problem--In Woon-socket, Rhode Island, some 1,000 gallons of fuel oil leaked out of an underground storage tank at a former mill complex. Fortunately, officials said, most of the fuel soaked into the ground before reaching a nearby river.  
 
 
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