Might change clubs to broomsticks--Penryn, Pennsylvania (AP)--"Police in a small Lancaster County community are refusing to direct traffic at a YMCA triathlon because they believe the YMCA promotes witchcraft by reading Harry Potter books to children."

Of course, the janitor!--The Anderson auditing company, which helped cook the Enron books, said an internal investigation shows that its top company executives had not been responsible for the shredding of Enron documents.

Act now, be special--"Ninety people have already put up a $75,000 membership fee to join Connecticut's newest country club--and the course isn't even built yet. The Bull's Bridge Club will be limited to 340 members. Once the club is built, the membership fee will be $90,000."--News item.

Compared to half-life, nothing--Responding to local complaints of a snail's-pace cleanup of radioactive and acid waste dump in Idaho Falls, Idaho, the feds assured the cleanup would be finished within a decade. The news brief we read neglected to mention how long the mop-up has been under way.

Like they say, 'Safety first'--Goodyear Tire agreed to recall 200,000 tires from ambulances and 15-passenger vans. The tires are linked to at least 18 deaths and 158 injuries. This leaves 21 million potentially dangerous similar tires still in use on like large-sized vehicles.

Defending 'Homeland'--"Antiterrorist technology will be used to trap disqualified drivers by using cameras that recognize faces and number plates," the chief constable of North Wales told members of Parliament.--The Times, London.

And how is the Labour Party looking?--"Shrill, nasty, racist, sexist--We've never looked worse, says top Tory leader"--London headline.  
 
 
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