Madden's guilty plea was the fruit of two separate, but similar scams, one in Manhattan, and one in Brooklyn. They worked out two concurrent 41-month jail terms. Plea bargain legalisms barred the good judge from giving Madden an even shorter sentence.

Also, he will pay about $3 million in civil penalties. During his jail term, the shoe company will pay Madden wages of $700,000 a year.

Like getting caught?--"I am guilty of stupidity, arrogance, and greed. I deeply regret all the things I have done."--Steve Madden

A few no-no's--Illinois public health officials have warned that the following categories of people should not eat sports fish caught in the state more than once a week: children under 15, pregnant women, women of child-bearing or nursing age. Studies confirmed that mercury in Illinois water is more toxic than previously reported.

Deportations even worse--The Council of Europe's Committee for the Prevention of Torture scored the Swiss government for its abusive, inhumane treatment of undocumented immigrants being held for deportation.

It seemed natural--Students at Washington University in Kansas City, Missouri, called on the college to weigh the credentials of James Talent who is using his $90,000 salary to finance his aspiration to win the Republican nomination for U.S. Congress. He teaches a course titled, "Thinking like a congressman." What with our aged eyeballs, we read it initially as "Taking like a congressman."

Have fun--In Sarasota County, Florida, people are concerned that lead from a gun club's shooting range may be leaching into the water supply. The shooters aim into a mound of sand, but in a recent test, it was found that a well for drinking water behind the range contained lead twice the "normal" level for lead. The club may not get renewal of the lease that it has had for more than 30 years.

If workers had been flexible--Last year, the two top dogs at the Charles Schwab brokerage house had their $8.9 million pay check whittled down by 93 percent. Meanwhile, 6,000 employees had their wages cut 100 percent.

Before kissing your rump goodbye... (or: And put it on your credit card)--If you're among the 52,000 folks who live close to Alabama's two nuke plants, not to worry. On your way stop and belt down a shot of the 28,000 anti-radiation doses stored for an emergency. Planners say the supply is adequate.  
 
 
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