…and also—LONDON—“Schools could be run without teachers in future to help keep government spending under control, according to proposals drawn up by the Department of Education and Skills. Only the head teacher would need a recognized teaching qualification, with pupils taught by a mix of cheaper classroom assistants and temporary agency staff.”—The Times, London.

Did anyone think otherwise?—“The Pentagon’s comptroller said that he saw ‘no basis whatsoever’ to believe Vice President Dick Cheney’s former company deliberately overcharged the Pentagon for oil deliveries to Iraq.”—Los Angeles Times.

Capitalism at its finest—The Dignity Memorial Network of Arizona presented special deals for Xmas and New Year. One outfit is offering free services (burials extra) for any under 18 in this period, plus anyone of any age who dies accidentally. Another mortuary already has a standing offer to provide free funeral services for (dig this) “public safety personnel killed in the line of duty.”

P.S.—To illustrate the above, the Arizona Daily Star ran a photo of an $8,495 coffin and captioned it “Die Now and Save.”

Scratched his head right—In Sioux City, Iowa, Judge Jeffery Neary said he was just trying to solve a legal riddle by granting a divorce to a same-sex couple. Such matches are illegal in Iowa. The two Iowa women who sought the divorce had been married in Vermont, where same-sex civic unions are recognized.

Popcorn bags?—On last September’s cleanup-up day along the California coast, 40,000 volunteers were armed with alleged biodegradable trash bags made from “cornstarch.” The state coastal commission says it’s trying to get back $23,000 it shelled out for them. Turns out they were old-fashioned non-degradable plastic. (Don’t ask us if there actually is a cornstarch bag.)

Great for the kids—A getaway house, in Malibu, a stone’s throw from L.A., is up for sale. Features six bedrooms and 10 baths—$20 million, furniture included. And you have backup in fighting for your rights. A community platoon of security guards confronts nutty beach-goers who insist the waterfront is legal public property.

Thousands suspected—Xmas eve, the FBI alerted cops nationwide to keep their eyes peeled for travelers carrying almanacs. These books carry info from abbreviations to weather trends. The feds explain that the widely circulated almanacs can be handbooks for terrorists.  
 
 
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